Monday, 24 November 2014

Jokes of the Day (November 24, 2014)

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." 

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

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A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " 

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. 

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

On This Day in History -- November 18

1307 - William Tell reputedly shoots apple off his son's head.

1477 - William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in England. 

1626 - St. Peter's Basilica is consecrated. Replaced an earlier basilica. Largest Christian basilica.

1738 - France & Austria sign peace.

1820 - Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to sight the continent of Antarctica. 

1911 - Opera "Lobetanz" first American performance.

1951 - Chuck Connors (Los Angeles Angels) became the first player to oppose the major league draft. Connors later became the star of the television show "The Rifleman." 

1970 - Russia lands self propelled rover on Moon.

1983 - Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched uranium for use in nuclear weapons. 

2001 - Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console in the United States.

Thursday, 6 November 2014

t h e p o w e r o f t h r e e

If you asked me what I was doing, I could only tell you three words. Those would be: Spanish, as well as math, and even piano! Of course blogging doesn't count!

As for piano, I'm doing songs such as the church hymn "Faith of Our Fathers". Problem is I can do it just perfect.. except when someone's listening to me. So that's what I'm doing for piano.. plus trying to figure out which note is which. *see sigh below*


And then I just  flip and flip and flip n' flip! through my hymnal and me song book until... I find a song I recognize! And it's one I REALLY LIKE!!! Who can relate? So I look at the book and up at my piano andddd I'm like...


But.. I can't make this post very long.. cuz I got spanish, math, piano.. andddd whatever else I want, but first the boring stuff. But.. you know what I feel like right now? Forget math. Forget Spanish. Forget piano. ANNNNDDDDD..... watch some wet hair! I feel cruel for posting this.. ... ... 


Well that's it. The end. The cruel end. Of EVERYTHING!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... 

5 minutes later
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...



Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Spanish ~ Personal Pronouns

Yo I

Tu You (informal)
Usted You

El He
Ella She

Nosotros/Nosotras We
Ellos/Ellas They

Ustedes You-all